For many, there's a huge difference between "spirituality" or "faith" and "religiousness". I've never been quite sure how to explain that. After doing some research though, I've managed to understand that this is a very "American" way of thinking. In Europe, you tend to be either religious or irreligious. I think the real distinction comes to play in "spirituality" vs. "ORGANIZED religion". Here is the way I understand that: in describing spirituality, one would use words like "personal" and "private"; in organized religion, one sees the use of phrases such as "public rituals" and "organized doctrines". In this country, spirituality is more often than not used in a context that paints a very positive picture, whereas organized religion is looked down upon as something so damaging and negative that no one would want to be a part of it. In the gospels of Matthew and Luke, there are hints that Jesus Christ himself found irritation with the idea of organized religion (I can't find the exact scriptures that explain this - can someone comment on that?). If the very person who wants us to follow Him allegedly did not agree with having sets of rules like these - why are there SO MANY different church denominations full of people who claim to follow Jesus Christ??? It's overwhelming!!! For this reason, I can completely understand why so many people despise the idea of going to a church. I have too, for a very long time!
I found out my mom was brought up in the Episcopal Church, and having that family tie sort of led me to having an interest there. I was actually baptized in the Methodist Church when I was 4 months old, and I can only assume that's the church my parents were members of in 1980. We attended church for a little while when I was a kid - but it was mostly for Easter services and Christmas. After my parents split up in 1992, my dad tried to force my sister and I to church on Sundays - but we were all of 10 and 12 years old, and having this "getting up early on a Sunday" crap forced on us did not fly. I know that my sister started to attend things like FCA (Future Christians of America) in high school, and then began to attend a non-denominational Christian church after graduating with some friends. My first year in college I attended one of those non-denominational churches with a girl I knew from my dorm. I was terrified during the service; they basically told me that if I had a beer, a dirty thought, or sullied myself somehow I was going straight to hell. I never went to ANY church again after that, other than to a wedding. As far as I know now, my parents don't attend church regularly, and neither do most members of my extended family.
Christine explained to me at one point after she and Joe got married that there are so many people in this world who have been really emotionally hurt by what certain churches try to teach, or by church families, etc. That has been made evident by a couple people in my life with whom I am very close - it's amazing how much damage can be done to the soul when being forced to think and act a certain way as a child or an adolescent. This is something I've thought about a lot about on the way to where I am now. After college I started to take my issues with God to heart, and I had so many of those questions floating around in my head. I know everyone has those HUGE questions - why are we here? did we come from evolution or from adam and eve? why can't we all just get along? did Jesus Christ really exist, and did he really turn water into wine? could Jesus come to my house and turn my water into wine?
Ok, maybe not really that thought, but you know what I'm trying to say.
So, knowing some people in the Episcopalian church, and having decided to explore more about these folks, I've found that attending their services and meeting new people there made me feel REALLY good. I have learned a ton about the history of that church and its foundations in the Church of England and other Anglican histories. I found a website about the Episcopalian church a little while ago that you can check out - it has some good info. In particular, some of the articles under "Highlights" are things I've found really helpful.
Some of the things that attract me to Trinity Episcopal: 1. I LOVE the clergy. We have Rev. Burnett, who is sort of the academic guy, and always gives his sermons with great energy. Then there is Father Alton, who is running my confirmation - he reminds me of the sweet-hearted Friar Tuck from Robin Hood. He loves everyone, and has made this learning experience so much fun. We played with clay, we had arts and crafts almost every session ... it was like being in elementary school again, but with older classmates!!! Then there's Deacon Deni who is a sweet lady and reminds me of my english teacher from my junior year. And one of my favorite people - Reverend Abbie. She's an African American lady who has done a TON of missionary work around the world, and particularly worked with Anglican communities in Africa.
2. The people in that congregation come from ALL walks of life. It is incredibly diverse.
3. The music! Our choir is so talented, and we sing from both the traditional hymnal and from an African American Hymnal called "Lift Every Voice and Sing" - which is awesome, because I love gospel music.
4. ALL ARE WELCOME. Seriously. I don't feel that anyone is left out here. You can be any gender, any race, any sexuality, any faith and still be welcomed with open arms. Our presiding bishop is a woman. The ninth Bishop of the Diocese in New Hampshire is the first openly-gay, non-celibate priest to be ordained in a major Christian denomination. He was on the Daily Show last night. He cracked me up. The point is that we're "all God's children", and that he loves us all equally no matter who we are, who we love, or what we think.
5. Maybe most important to me - they allow, and even encourage, the idea that we (believers, I guess we would be called) might all be completely wrong. It's not blasphemy to them to argue that there might not be a holy trinity. It's not wrong to wonder if God might be just as fallible and imperfect as we are.
Jamie - you had sweet words in your blog yesterday for me. I'm glad you can see that I am doing this for myself and no one else. No one forced me to go "find God". I wanted to do this because I think it will unveil a facet of myself that I wasn't aware existed. I have a broader perspective from these classes, and I have found a yearning to learn more.
I love to talk about religion and faith with people, but I want it to be clear that I don't want to explore it without having an open mind about such a universal topic. I want to know about what you might feel, or how you evolved in your faith, but I don't want to be judged based on how I feel, and I would want you to know that I would never judge you on your ideas. Those ideas make us all who we are, and I love that about human nature.
4 comments:
Good luck on the 25th.
The part about Jesus not liking the organized religion thing- go to http://mikeblume.com/gates.htm. Here (Matt. 16:17-18) Jesus makes a reference to his "church". Then go to http://www.ccel.org/contrib/exec_outlines/cjb/cjb_01.htm. Here are many scriptures describing what Jesus actually meant by the word "church," which is to say, "The Body of Christ." Conclusively, one does not need to attend a service in a building (no matter what denomination) to be part of the "Body" of Christ (this is only in Christian religion). Now, to answer your question, in John 2:13-16 (I strongly encourage you to read the scriptures before and after this in order to get a better understanding of the context, but this is the actual scripture), Jesus is finally fed up with at the Pharisees and how they are entitling themselves and abusing God and His followers through their power-trip. So he makes a whip, crashes into the temple and causes some serious damage to their activities, their building, and their egos, making it perfectly clear that THEY are not in control- He is. In early forms of religion (i.e. Catholic Religion in Europe), “church-and-state” was not just common practice, you couldn't have one without the other. Church WAS State and vice versa. The Head Priest (having the only copy of the Bible) made the rules- whatever ones he wanted, usually in order to gain power. He appointed leaders to his favor and made the laws, according to the only moral guide/code, the Bible (i.e. The Ten Commandments). In these efforts, power-tripped, money-hungry leaders became crooked; doing whatever it took to get/stay seated in their monarchies. And the common-folk didn't have any other choice but to follow them because they were the leaders and to get to God, you had to go through them. Bibles were not mass-produced or written in (practically) every language like they are today. So the leaders' word was God's word and everyone had to trust what they were saying was true. As far as typical worship practice, this is where we get relics (Virgin Mary statues) and other such things not required for meeting God (Old Testament practice). Payments to clergy and punishment for our sin, called "penance", were (maybe still are?) decided upon BY the clergyman after he has judged the degree of your sin (where “confession” comes from). They also had the option to make cash contributions to the clergy to relay their prayers to God (since the priest was the only one who could meet God)- the congregation was led to believe that you could “buy” your way out of hell, or “purchase” the healing of a loved one; depending on how much cash you had, of course. God’s people were, quite literally, at the mercy of men who had placed themselves in seats higher than His (the Ten Commandments, Exodus 20- scripts 3-6 in particular for this example). Fast forward to Martin Luther (where we get the denomination, "Lutheran"). This man felt moved in his spirit by God to translate the Bible so EVERYONE could read it- this was called the "Reformation." It is revealed that the ONLY way to meet God, the Father, was through His Son, Jesus Christ. And EVERYONE could do it- simply by confessing out loud that they have and will sin (“for all fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:23 http://www.faithalone.org/news/y2000/romans323.html) but they believe He is the only One who can save them from their sins and the guilt, shame, depression, etc, that come with having committed them. And that meant EVERYONE, ANYONE, not just the big powerful boss-man. Once everyone heard about this (his “95 thesis”), BAM!- the beginning of the breakdown of church-and-state. The modern world thinks of "church" as a congregation of people who believe similar things and meet in a building every Sunday. The act of going to a church building/service is more a tradition than a requirement to be a "believer." This is NOT to say that going to/being part of a church is a bad thing- Not at all! It becomes bad when the priest/preacher/pastor/reverend, etc believes he has supreme power over the congregation and uses it to his own advantage- people will believe anything a leader says if they’re desperate enough. The other conflict is that now that everyone can read the Bible (which is our right and responsibility when there is an ideology in question- don’t ever just trust and believe what you are being told), it is open to our own human spiritual interpretation. Some have built ENTIRE religions on one SINGLE passage in the Bible. But if you were to read a novel and you wanted to tell me what it was about, you wouldn't flip to some page in the middle and read to me a random sentence to conclude its plot, would you? This is what we've done with the Bible. It was broken down into numbered scriptures to make it easier to copy (during the time when copying was done by hand- research more about how monks were helping Martin Luther interpret and copy). The Bible was meant to be read as a whole. The Old Testament, according to the New Testament is a wash. We don't have to follow those rules anymore to be close to God because when he sent us Jesus, in the New Testament, He was destroying the old law, making it possible for everyone- not just the head priest- to come to God. But it’s included because it’s necessary to learn EXACTLY what God did and why He did it in order to “set us free.” This is why so many people have a problem with/have been hurt by church. The bible has been interpreted by a human trying to understand a mystifying (not to be mistaken for “confusing”) God (Isaiah 55:8). The only explanation I have for all the different religions is that God cannot force ANYTHING on us, not even conformity. He created free will for us (which is a TOTALLY different subject for a later time) and that means we can do, think, feel, be whatever, whenever, however we want- and this includes making a religion and practicing it, right or wrong. My belief is that He did this because love is only pure, true, and sincere when it is unforced. God doesn't want us to love and follow Him because we HAVE to, but because we WANT to. God wants us to trust Him, the way that we trust our parents when we're innocent children (1Peter 2:2-3; Matt. 18:2-4). Anyway, I know it’s a lot, but I'm just so elated that you're asking these questions of God and of yourself. Keep doing what you're doing and trust that when you pray, God will clarify EVERYTHING for you- because that's what He does. He's so Awesome, and not in the "cool" way, but in the way that people- when they meet the true, real, and living God- are just left in complete AWE. I'm proud of you, and barring any complications with Ainsley (lol), I'll be there beside you to see you off on your new amazing journey- it's soooo worth it.
LOL thanks for the kind words, Christine - and, you get the award for LONGEST COMMENT EVER. :-P
Wow. I'm sorry my attention is way too short to read Christine's comment.
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