So for the last week or so, I haven't had more than one decent night of sleep. If you were to take a sound byte from my brain at 2:30am, it might sound something like this: "maybe I'll wear my blue pants with my red sweater tomorrow...can't forget to work on the schedule...did I shut the computer off?...I don't want to go to work tomorrow...'oh, mickey you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind'...HA HA, jonathan's farts are SO LOUD when he's dead asleep...lucky...how much is it going to cost to get my car fixed?...'hey mickey X X hey mickey X X'...maybe I should update my facebook status to CAN'T FUGGIN SLEEP...I have to pee...did I pay my Macy's bill?...I have to get lettuce and bread tomorrow...maybe I'll wake up in time to go to Starbucks...I need to shave my legs..."
Anyway... so song lyrics, to-do lists, listening to Jonathan all dead to the world and half snoring sometimes... I'm laying awake night after night. And then, of course, I get to work in the morning and I'm a damn ZOMBIE. I want BRAINS. And coffee. Lots of strong coffee.
When I have slept in the last few nights, I've been addled with incredibly vivid and WEIRD dreams. Most of you know I dream a lot anyway, but these have just been off the charts for me. Sunday night, I was a POW in some foreign country. Not sure where. But I got sentenced along with a group of my fellow POWs to the firing squad. I remember seeing people get shot down all around me - to my right, to my left, and then just as far as the eye could see. I remember getting shot just beneath my right boob. I remember it hurting, but I didn't fall down right away, so I just laid down on the ground and figured I'd bleed or something down there. Nope! They made me stand back up so they could have another go at me!! This time, they shot me somewhere on my left side. Again with the not falling down right away - I just laid down again. And no kidding, they made me stand up yet again. Now, I get shot in my right ovary area. Faaaabulous. For some reason, time passes, and I don't die. Yay me. So they send me home. In my dream apparently if you don't die you get to go home. So now, I'm in the boarding area of this airport (I think it's in a slavic country because the languages on the signs are all slavic), and the line is like an amusement park. Weaving back and forth and such... and then all of a sudden I'm in a cafeteria line. I guess this particular airplane is gonna let me take some fresh watermelon on board with me. Woot! And that's where the dream ends.
I'm not going to tell you about the dream I had last night because it had nothing to do with real life and EVERYTHING to do with... unmentionable items of intimacy aids. Things I didn't know existed until last week. But it was ridiculously vivid. I'ma leave it at that.
Nikki got me this really neat little daily devotional book for my confirmation on Sunday, and I cracked it open last night before bed. Coincidentally, the particular passage for yesterday was talking about Psalm 46 and how part of that God's "Be Still and Know ME" message also pertains to trying to shut the constant ANNOYING chatter up in our own brains. Interesting...
I just want to get some sleep. Alls I'm sayin. I've tried the "drink a lot of wine/whisky", "take a lot of benadryl/tylenol PM" combo. Not a healthy thing for me - you think those dreams were bad??? OY... And then when the drugs do kick in, no WAY I'm getting up on time the next morning. I've done the reading/drinking herbal, caffeine free tea before sleep. Whatever I read just joins the mass of random thoughts swimming in the muck of my mind. I've done the "take a hot bath to drop your body temperature". I haven't had success there either. I don't have a television or computer anywhere near the bedroom (something about your calming chi getting all KINDS of warped with electronic devices in the same place you're supposed to sleep)...
I'm thinking about asking the doctor if he knows a good acupuncturist.
2 comments:
I definitely know what you mean... I have trouble turning my mind off too. What do I do? Take a HOT shower, then as soon as my mind starts to wander I think about the stars in the sky and the black night that surrounds them. stupid, I know, but it works for me!
That conversation you had in your head is HYSTERICAL. I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me. I used to take over-the-counter sleep aid. Like CVS sleep aid. I found that it worked REALLY well and I felt fine the next day. But I don't anymore. I also try to "ride my bike around the block." I will picture myself riding a bike down the street, imagining every single thing I would see and the feeling of riding, at the exact speed it would happen. Weird. :)
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